Licensed professional counselor Jeff Guenther, known for his insightful relationship advice on social media, recently addressed a powerful topic that many of us struggle with after a breakup: the overwhelming thought that your ex might love someone else and be a better partner to them. In a recent video shared with his millions of followers, Jeff offered guidance on how to process these emotions and move forward in a healthy way.

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Understanding the Emotional Spiral After a Breakup

It’s a common scenario after a breakup: You can’t help but imagine your ex moving on, finding someone else, and becoming the partner they couldn’t be for you. This can be especially painful when you feel they didn’t treat you well during the relationship. According to Jeff, these feelings are rooted in the fantasy of fairness. While we all crave fairness in relationships, Jeff explains that “relationships are messy, emotional, and wildly uneven at times, especially when they end.” Unfortunately, fairness doesn’t always show up in the way we want it to.

Letting Go of the Fantasy of ‘What Could Have Been’

Jeff encourages those struggling with thoughts of their ex becoming a “better partner” for someone else to remember that they may never know the full truth. What’s most important, he states, is that your ex didn’t show up as the partner you needed, and that’s the only proof you need to close that chapter of your life.

“They weren’t that partner for you, and that’s all the evidence you need to close this chapter. Slam it shut,” Jeff advises. “Right now, they’re living rent-free in your mind.”

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Redirecting Your Energy to Yourself

One of the most crucial pieces of advice Jeff offers is to focus your energy on healing and personal growth. Instead of obsessing over your ex’s future relationships, he suggests that you should shift that focus onto yourself and your own well-being. He shares three key steps to help you regain control:

1. Focus on self-improvement: Every time you start obsessing over your ex being with someone else, ask yourself, “What can I do today to become the person who attracts someone who matches my worth?”
2. Block them on social media: If you haven’t already, consider blocking your ex on social platforms. You don’t need to subject yourself to their “rebound tour” or their new relationship updates.
3. Remember your worth: Remind yourself that you are not their “rehab center” or second chance. You are the main character in your own life, and it’s time to take back the energy you’ve been wasting on someone who didn’t appreciate you.

Will Your Ex Really Become a Better Partner?

Jeff acknowledges that there’s a chance your ex may eventually become a better partner for someone else, but he also offers a spoiler: “People don’t change that fast, so don’t hold your breath.” Even if they do improve, it doesn’t take away from the fact that you are already on the path to finding someone who will naturally meet your needs without all the effort and struggle.

“You’re already on your way to finding a partner who is naturally capable of meeting your needs. Someone you don’t have to train so hard, who just does the good stuff because they’re a good person and a good partner,” Jeff explains.

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Moving Forward: Focus on Your Own Comeback Story

Instead of worrying about your ex’s future relationships, Jeff encourages focusing on your own “comeback story.” Channel the energy and time you’ve been wasting on your past relationship into your own growth, healing, and happiness. By doing so, you’ll open yourself up to healthier, more fulfilling connections in the future.

Empower Yourself and Let Go

Jeff Guenther’s advice serves as a powerful reminder that our worth is not defined by our past relationships. Instead of dwelling on the thought of your ex being with someone else, use this time to focus on yourself and the amazing future that lies ahead. By redirecting your energy, blocking toxic reminders, and embracing your own worth, you’ll find the strength to move forward and create a life filled with self-love and healthy relationships.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice.